Diabetic Friend Action Network 
Online Newsletter - May Edition
Significant Other Special Issue

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I want to take this opportunity to welcome you all to this
special SO issue of the DFAN newsletter. A SO is a Significant
Other.  Who are we? We are your friends, your brothers, your
sisters, your mothers and fathers, your children, your lovers,
your spouses.  Some of us have diabetes, some do not. The one
thing we have in common is that we don't think you should have to
go through diabetes alone.  Sometimes we have to be the pain in
your tucas that reminds you to take your medications or to test
your 
blood glucose levels. 

Sometimes we are the ones who read cookbooks looking for
recipes that are healthy but still taste good.  We share your
joy when your blood glucose levels are good, and we share your
pain when you feel
like five miles of bad road.  Sometimes you snap at us, and
sometimes we snap back.  We are a part of your life, and you are
a part of ours.  One we would like to keep around for a good long
time. 

What does it take to be an SO?  You have to love someone with
diabetes enough to learn about the disease, and try to support
them through the rough times and the good times.  You have to be
ready to have them be angry with you from time to time.  

Often it means you need to be prepared to make some changes in
your own life. If you prepare the food in your house, you may
need to rethink the way you do it.  You will probably have to
tell the diabetic in your life some things that he or she will
not want to hear.  You have to learn when to nag, and when to
back off.  When the diabetic in your life is feeling lousy, you
may have to be the cheering section, you may even be the target
of a bad mood from time to time.  

But don't be intimidated, it isn't all bad times, there are great
times as well!  Good checkups, birthdays that wouldn't happen if
the *D wasn't treated, seeing the difference in the way the
diabetic in your life feels when the blood glucose levels get
under control.  Good times and bad times, sounds like life to me!

Is it worth it? All I have to do to answer that question is look
at my brother and sister, (both diabetics) and know that we are
going to be together for a good long time.  No question!  Is
there anything in the world you would trade for someone you love?
I didn't think so. 

Richard Eshelman

****************************ARTICLE******************************

Looking At The Glass Half Empty-Or Half Full?
By Aimee Bilyeu-Holtz

My daughter, Amber, who is now three was diagnosed with diabetes
at fifteen months old.  At the time it was the most tragic thing
the doctor in the emergency room could have told me.  Although I
was quite ignorant to the disease, I did know that this was going
to be a life-long ordeal.  After learning much more about the big
"D" I believed that maybe this wasn't so bad.  My baby was going
to live and we would just have to adapt to a different kind of
life-style.  As the months went by things became easier or maybe
just more routine.  I accepted that my little girl has this
disease and we were going to deal with it and help her live a
long healthy life.

     I watched Amber grow and develop from an infant, to a
toddler, to the beautiful three-year-old that she is now and I
have come to realize that the older she gets, the harder it gets.

As a baby she didn't know any better but now she does.  She asked
questions about why she has to have blood tests and why she has
to get shots.  She understands that she has diabetes and for the
most part she deals with it very well.  

I, on the other hand, don't understand.  I'll be the first to
detest it and would do anything to make it all go away.  However,
there has been some very positive things to come out of all of
this.  As Amber's mother I know that my opinion is biased, but
she is a very intuitive and special child.  She has brought new
light to many people's lives.  I think that the people in Amber's
life have come to the conclusion that if this three-year-old can
deal with this ongoing, day-in-and-day-out disease, then maybe
the problems in their life aren't so bad.  Stranger's are
fascinated by her complete cooperation and understanding of her
life-style.  Amber can do her own blood tests------no lie!  (We
don't let her do it all the time because she does have a little
difficulty getting the blood on the strip and they are just too
expensive to waste.)  Amber is also very smart and extremely
articulate.  I believe that the reason she is so advanced is
because she has had to be conscious of her disease and her body
from the age of fifteen months.

     So------, my point is this:  Even though I have my moments
of self pity for my daughter and I get very angry and confused, 
I also have moments of great reward when I see how bright and
courageous she is.  I honestly don't know if she would be such a
special person if she didn't have diabetes (not that I wouldn't
still think she was the most wonderful child in the world!)  But,
I know that she is who she is partly because of the diabetes.  So
when I have the moments of anger and sadness (looking at the
glass half empty) I put things back into perspective and remember
all the positive things to come out of all this (looking at the
glass half full).  Yes, diabetes is hard and has so many aspects
that have to be dealt with everyday but it is treatable for now
and hopefully curable in the near future.

****************************ARTICLE****************************
S.O.B.'s (Significant Other Brothers)
By Richard Eshelman

Hey, it isn't my problem, I don't have *D! Why should I change
the way I do things. It could have been easy to feel that way,
but when I saw my brother lying on the floor, near coma, it sure
didn't feel that way. 

Was he angry that I took him to the hospital? You bet.  Would he
do the same thing to me if the situations were reversed?  Beyond
a shadow of a doubt.  Bear (my brother) and I have always been
there for each other.  I can't imagine my life without him in it.
Sure we have had our share of fights.  We're brothers and it goes
with the territory.  But I was there to cheer him on when he
graduated college, and I was there to get drunk with him when we
lost a friend to a bullet. If we could get through that together
this would be a cake walk.  Or would it. 

We had been raised around a diabetic grandmother, so I thought I
knew about *D.  I didn't have a clue!   We read the info from the
doctor, we found good friends who had experience, Belver among
them.  Bear was lucky.  His *D could be treated with diet and
exercise.  This did mean however, changing the way we had eaten
all our lives.  Sounds hard, and it is.  That doesn't mean it
can't be done though.  I found that the trick is finding new ways
to make the old foods.  Cut out the fat, broil instead of frying,
use artificial sweeteners instead of sugar.  

For me, one of the scarier aspects of it was realizing that if he
wasn't immune, neither was I.  Diabetes likes to run in families,
and it has hit the last three generations of mine.  On the plus
side, I now know what to watch out for, and that puts me several
steps ahead of the game.  Does the thought of becoming diabetic
worry me?  Yes, but at least now I know that with information,
and a good attitude, and the support of friends and family, I can
have diabetes, and not let it have me. 

********************************POEM****************************
The Lesson Needed To Be Learned
By Jym Miller

There came to me a time,
when life pointed out 
one of my frailties.
It showed me just how thin 
the thread that ties me to my world, is.
I have learned that I am no longer 
the Iron Warrior of my youth,
nor the invincible caretaker of my own being.
That was a hard lesson for me to learn.
Knowledge that I would really 
just as soon not know.
I know now that I am not indestructible,
and that due to time, 
along with some abuse 
done to me by my own actions,
parts of me have worn out,
ceasing to function as designed.
Knowing that placed me within a dark tunnel,
and while there,
I tended to feel sorry for myself,
and asked the question,
"why me ?" and" bemoan the fact
"that it wasn't fair".
But in time I found myself 
a way out of that tunnel.
Instead of wasting time moaning and complaining
I started to see things with a different value 
than what was placed on them before.
I see those around me differently as well.
I decided that my frailties are not
really all that important.
That being an Iron Warrior 
is really a waste of time.
I see life with different eyes now,
with different priorities,
different goals.
During my learning time 
in that dark tunnel,
I discovered that I don't need
someone to take care of me,
or to hold my hand 
when fear comes to me.
I need someone to share with me
what my life is,
to help me plan 
for what it could be,
and to enjoy with me
all that it will be.
                  Jym.

***************************"SO" APPRECIATION*******************

Sometimes we can get caught up in our diabetes management plans
and we neglect to tell our SO's how important they are to us. 
Here are some things you can do to show the Significant Others in
your life your appreciation:

1) Take your family out to a special dinner and tell all of them
how much you appreciate them helping you with your diabetes
management plans.

2) Do something special around the house your SO has been asking
you to do for a long time.  Tell them you're doing it because you
appreciate them supporting you.

3) Buy a special "family gift" (video game system, etc..) and
attach a card that tells everyone how you feel about them
changing their lifestyle to help you.

Being a diabetic can be difficult but having family and friends
to support you can make all the difference in the world. 
Acknowledging this not only makes you feel better but makes the
people who are helping you know that you recognize the sacrifices
and changes they're making for your benefit.

***************************ARTICLE*****************************
Getting Involved
By Judy Haley

For everyone whose future depends upon the progress of diabetes
research, now is the time to write to your senators and your
representatives.  The US government is the largest contributor in
the world to diabetes research; but with the current tight fiscal
constraints, all federal programs including dollars for medical
research are being reviewed.  Just as diabetes knowledge is 
expanding to the point of better treatment, potential prevention
and hope for a cure, dollars are likely to disappear--already
almost 70% of approved grants are left unfunded.

Most of the funding for research goes into the budget of the
National Institute of Health (NIH).  Congress is now developing
the budget which will include the monies to be appropriated for
NIH; we, who are concerned with making strides through diabetes
research, MUST let our Congressmen know how many of their
constituents support increased funding at the NIH and its
diabetes component, the National Institutes of Diabetes and
Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK).
                                                          
Please write to your two senators and your representative; tell
them your personal story of your connection to diabetes; tell
them that diabetes, which affects 14 million Americans, has a
total annual cost in the US of $105 billion.  Since every $1 in
research saves $8-$13 in medical treatment, the cost containment
potential is tremendous.  In human terms, watching children like
mine stick their fingers 4 or 5 times a day, inject insulin 3 or
4 times a day, and still face the risks inherent in a disease
like diabetes makes an abandonment or a cutback in research
intolerable.

If you prefer to e-mail your concerns, you can find an address
for your congressmen on the Federal Legislative Home Page
(Thomas) http://thomas.loc.gov.  I, along with Juvenile Diabetes
Foundation volunteers from throughout the US, will go to
Washington to defend the NIH budget in the offices of our
legislators in May; letters from you can make the difference in 
whether they will listen to us.  If you would like more
information, contact me through my husband's e-mail address
mhaley@infohwy.com.

*****************************DIET & EXERCISE********************

Meal Planning - The Key To Success

Meal planning is one of the most important parts of your diabetes
management plan.  Without a good meal plan you're leaving your
caloric intake to chance and that can lead to high blood glucose
levels and weight gain.  If you need to lose weight to help
control your diabetes having a meal plan that you can follow is
extremely crucial.  There are also many meal planning programs
available to help diabetics with their meal planning.

If you get up every morning and have no idea what you're going to
eat that day you're not doing the best you can do to help control
your blood glucose levels.  When you don't plan what you're going
to eat you might be eating extra fat and calories that will not
only make your blood glucose levels go high but it can also lead
to weight gain that you don't need or want.  Just stopping by the
nearest fast food restaurant might sound like a good idea until
you sit down and realize that those french fries you ate has all
the fat grams you were supposed to have for the WHOLE day.

If you're a diabetic who needs to lose weight planning your meals
is a part of your diabetes management plan you can't do without. 
You need to calculate the nutritional value of everything you put
into your mouth.  You should check the calories, fat grams, and
protein values of the foods you eat, as well as checking the ADA
exchange values if that's the type of diet you're following.  But
it's also important to know that EVERY diabetic has to be aware
of what they eat even if they aren't trying to lose weight. 

When you plan your meals you can also plan your snacking. 
Instead of grabbing greasy potato chips you can plan to have a
low calorie snack that won't affect your blood glucose levels or
your weight in a negative way.  One of the major reasons we snack
with the wrong foods is because we don't PLAN.  PLAN to have a
low calorie snack nearby.  PLAN to have low calorie/low fat
snacks in the cabinet so when you do get a craving you can't
control there's something there for you to eat.

There are quite a few computer programs that will help you with
your meal planning.  Programs such as Meal Mate (shareware) and
many others allow you to type in the foods you want to eat. 
You'll then be given the nutritional values of the foods and the
exchange values.  Most meal planning programs allow you to
analyze an individual food, a meal, or a recipe.  Using these
programs take most of the hassle out of calculating fat grams and
carbohydrate grams and let you have more time to cook those
delicious meals.

We have programs like this in the DFAN Diabetes Forum on Delphi
Internet Services (Custom Forum 255).  

If you'd like to send a comment or question to DFAN send it to:
BELVE (Dephi), BELVE@DELPHI.COM (Internet), XJMV62A (Prodigy),
YASURU (Delphi), SO RANGER (America Online), WXUD99B (Prodigy)
If you'd like information on how to join DFAN's online support
group just drop us an e-mail and we'll tell you how to join and
get TEN FREE hours so you can look around and see if you like
it.

***************************MYSTERY*****************************

The Diamond Sparkles 

The diamonds in the store sparkled with a brilliance all their
own.  There were three areas of the store that didn't have a
sparkle.  Three diamond necklaces were stolen from Elmo's
Diamond-rama.  It was a strange robbery.  There was no evidence
of forced entry and the thief did not disturb anything else in
the store.

"I can't believe it," said the store manager, "Fifteen years in
this store and we've never had a robbery!"

The police officer who responded to the store manager's call for
help took down all the information the store employees could give
him.  Everyone said they saw nothing.  

Wanda the store accountant said she was in the back of the store
taking inventory when she heard someone come into the store.  She
told the policeman a man came into the store and told her he was
a diabetic and that he was having an insulin reaction.  Wanda
went on to say that she helped the man get a drink of water and
sat with him for awhile until he felt better.  Wanda then said
she went back to work in the back of the store.

The only other person in the store at the time of the robbery was
Fred.  Fred was a cashier in the store but at the time of the
robbery he said he had stepped out of the store to get some
change from the bank.  He stated that he locked the door to the
store and when he returned the diamonds were gone.

"Well, someone isn't telling the truth," the policeman, "if Fred
locked the doors before he went to the bank, how did the robbers
get into the store without Wanda hearing them?"

* Now it's your turn to be a DFAN Detective!  How do you think
the diamonds were stolen?  Do you think Wanda was involved in the
robbery?  Or do you think Fred is the real thief?  Send your
solution to this mystery to us and it might get printed in the
next newsletter!  If you come up with a solution to this month's
DFAN Mystery please state the reasons for your answer and what
clues lead you to your solution.  Send your solution to BELVE or
BELVE@DELPHI.COM or YASURU or YASURU@DELPHI.COM or SO RANGER
(AOL) 

If you have a diabetes-mystery you'd like to submit to our
newsletter please send it to us as a DOS/ASCII text file and
we'll add it to a future newsletter.  Please include the solution
to your mystery in your text file.
**************************************************************

There are also three other issues of the DFAN Online Newsletter
available.  If you'd like to receive any of them just send us an
e-mail and we can send it to your e-mail box.  Or stop by our
forum on Delphi (Custom Forum 255).  Here are the other issues
that are now available for upload.

Fall Edition: DFAN Online * Official Flower Seeds * Article - The
First Day/Diagnosis * Article - A Mother's Dilemma * DFAN
Hottub/Biographies

February Edition: Article - Good Old Days/Part 2 * Article -
Coping As An SO (Significant Other) * Article - The Joy Of A
Transplant * Member To Member Advice * Article - Sorbitol/Is The
Harm Worth The Benefit

March Edition (Special Children's Edition): Interview With Ten
Year Old Diabetic Child * Article - D* At School/Time Of
Diagnosis * Article - Getting Ready For School Beyond Notebooks &
Erasers * Wordsearch Puzzle

*************************FYI********************************
If you're going to be changing your Internet address please let
us know so we can change it in our distribution list.  If you
want to be sure you don't miss any issues of the newsletter you
can send us a snail mail address so if we can't reach you by e-
mail we can send you a hardcopy of our newsletter.  

