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LA RIOTS STUN NATION
  by Charles Siler
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     DIP 4 Oct 95 14:01 EDT V0185
     Copyright 1995 DIsassociated Press. All rights reserved.
     
     The information contained in this news report may not be 
     published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the 
     prior written authority of the DIP (DIassociated Press).
     ---------------------------------------------------------
  
  
  DIP - October 4, 1995 - LOS ANGELES - Widespread rioting 
broke out across Los Angeles today as angry residents took to the 
streets in a frenzied orgy of looting and violence reminiscent of 
the civil chaos in 1992 that followed the acquittal of the LA 
policemen accused of beating motorist Rodney King.

  This time, the crowds were angry for a different reason - the 
acquittal of football star O.J. Simpson, who was found not guilty 
Tuesday of the savage murders of his wife and an acquaintance. And 
this time, the rioters were white.
  
  Predominantly white crowds roamed the streets of many parts of 
the city, including Westwood, Torrance and Pasadena, breaking shop 
windows and removing merchandise as police looked on helplessly. 
Especially hard hit were Laura Ashley boutiques, golf shops, art 
galleries and do-it-yourself stores.
  
  At the Price Club in Carson City, a gang of twelve women in 
four minivans held employees at bay with red-hot curling irons 
while they removed the store's entire stock of gallon jars of 
mayonnaise, along with about two dozen steel-belted radial tires 
and undetermined amount of lawn and garden equipment.
  
  "I don't know if he's innocent or guilty; I'm just here to 
get some sweet gherkins," said a smiling looter as she hurried out 
of the store with a small child and a huge jar of pickles in her 
arms. In the parking lot, the women carefully loaded the large 
glass jars of mayonnaise into the vans, packing them with Boy Scout 
sleeping bags to prevent breakage. Then they climbed into their 
vans and -- after securely fastening their shoulder harnesses and 
lap belts -- drove away in a brisk yet orderly fashion. After the 
women had gone, a store employee remarked, "They must have been 
reading their Consumer Reports. They went straight for the top-of-
the-line Goodyears with the new anti-skid feature."
  
  At the Forgotten Woman store in Torrance, several large white 
women were trying on dresses, oblivious to the clanging store 
alarm and the screaming sirens outside. "He seemed sort of guilty, 
but what are you gonna do?" said one woman who was wearing a pair 
of floral print jodpurs with the price tag still attached as she 
watched an accomplice try on a an Egyptian cotton smock. "Oh 
Betsy," she said, "that looks so cute on you."
  
  "Tootaloo," said one looter as she left the store. "Tootaloo to 
you too, you little looter you" chimed the others as they loaded 
their pickings into large plastic trash bags and prepared to depart.
  
  Los Angeles Police, who have been operating under a "community 
policing" policy since Willie Williams was named chief following 
the Rodney King riots, were under instructions not to intervene 
unless lives were at risk lest they further inflame the angry 
crowds. Los Angeles police sergeant Dave Hedcracker could only 
lean against his patrol car and watch in amazement. "I've seen a 
lot of riots," he said. "Watts, South Central, you name it, I was 
there. But this is the first time I've ever actually seen looters 
wait in line to take stuff out of a store."
  
  The city was covered by a cloud of smoke from fires burning in 
many neighborhoods. However, the rioters seem to be avoiding 
burning any buildings. Apparently all of the fires were bonfires 
set on street corners with firewood trucked in by suburban 
homeowners.

  "We  all wanted to show the city how angry we are at the 
verdict, but we didn't want to actually burn any structures, 
which would be irresponsible," said Ralph Mabry, an Encino 
insurance adjuster who organized the bonfire campaign. Mr. Mabry 
commented on the mayhem as he stood on a Westwood street corner 
tapping buttons on a notebook computer containing details of his 
bonfire-burning schedule. "We want to show everyone that rioting 
can be fun, organized and constructive," he said. From Mr. Mabry's 
street corner command post, five huge fires were visible. Next to 
each fire stood a group of white people with fire extinguishers 
and garden hoses should the blazes begin to get out of control. 
"We are planning some fireworks later," Mr. Mabry said as he 
punched some buttons on a portable phone, "but I'm not sure when 
because the head of that committee hasn't gotten back to me yet."
  
  Nearby, a young woman in a khaki dress was overheard saying to 
the man next to her, "Lawrence, this is such fun! How come you 
never took me rioting before?" 
  
  "I didn't know civil unrest could be so enjoyable, Honey," 
the man responded. "I always thought it involved a lot of heavy 
lifting and getting really dirty."
  
  "Let's go down to TCBY and steal some more non-fat fudge 
ripple," the woman said.
  
  "But there's a Ben & Jerry's right up the street, and you know 
how I love their Strawberry Apple Crunch."
  
  "Law-rence, Marcia said there's a huge line of looters up at 
B&J's and they are all out of lo-fat, so lets get down to TCBY 
. . . Please???"
  
  "OK, Hon. Gee, you are quite the little looter aren't you?"
   
  "Alright, let's go. This is so cool. And remember -- I get to 
break something before the night is over. You promised."
  
  Meanwhile, in Culver City, in an incident eerily reminiscent 
of the vicious beating of white truck driver Reginald Denny during 
the King riots, four white men pulled a black city bus driver out 
of a bus and told the driver, "We're going to kick your ass." But 
the driver, 41-year-old Eva Trawlings, maced her four attackers 
and beat them badly, sending two to the hospital with lacerations 
and fractures.
  
  "I don't blame them," Ms. Trawlings said later. "They just got 
caught up in the moment. There's so much white collar crime out 
in the suburbs nowadays, these boys don't know right from wrong. 
I'll pray for them."
  
  Throughout the city, whites were expressing their fury. At the 
Culver City Starbucks store, long a gathering place for the white 
community, there was anger in the air. "I've had it," snapped one 
man as he sipped a decaf latte. "And I've decided to take action. 
From now on, I'm not separating green glass from from clear glass 
in my weekly recycling. I think that sends a pretty strong message 
to the city."

  At the Torrance Builders Square, middle-aged white men could 
be seen piling leaf blowers, rakes, fertilizer, plumbing supplies, 
power tools and window treatments into their shiny sports utility 
vehicles. "With this much Armour-All, I'll have shiny tires 
forever," said one beaming man as he loaded a cardboard box into 
his car. In another part of the parking lot, a sweaty man with an 
"Irvine Anteaters" T-shirt was loading the last of about 40 bags 
of peat moss into his truck. "This is fantastic," he said. "I've 
been meaning to do some landscaping around the deck, but I could 
never find the time to get down here and get all this darn peat 
moss. Looting is so cool."
                               
                               {DREAM}

Copyright 1995 Charles Siler, All Rights Reserved.
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Charles Siler is a humor writer living in London.  He can be 
reached via e-mail at: 100067.2730@compuserve.com
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