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 LA RIOTS STUN NATION
   by Charles Siler
 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
 
 
      DIP 4 Oct 95 14:01 EDT V0185
      Copyright 1995 DIsassociated Press. All rights reserved.
      
      The information contained in this news report may not be 
      published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without the 
      prior written authority of the DIP (DIassociated Press).
      ---------------------------------------------------------
   
   
   DIP - October 4, 1995 - LOS ANGELES - Widespread rioting 
 broke out across Los Angeles today as angry residents took to the 
 streets in a frenzied orgy of looting and violence reminiscent of 
 the civil chaos in 1992 that followed the acquittal of the LA 
 policemen accused of beating motorist Rodney King.
   
   This time, the crowds were angry for a different reason - the 
 acquittal of football star O.J. Simpson, who was found not guilty 
 Tuesday of the savage murders of his wife and an acquaintance. And 
 this time, the rioters were white.
   
   Predominantly white crowds roamed the streets of many parts of 
 the city, including Westwood, Torrance and Pasadena, breaking shop 
 windows and removing merchandise as police looked on helplessly. 
 Especially hard hit were Laura Ashley boutiques, golf shops, art 
 galleries and do-it-yourself stores.
   
   At the Price Club in Carson City, a gang of twelve women in 
 four minivans held employees at bay with red-hot curling irons 
 while they removed the store's entire stock of gallon jars of 
 mayonaise, along with about two dozen steel-belted radial tires 
 and undetermined amount of lawn and garden equipment.
   
   "I don't know if he's innocent or guilty; I'm just here to 
 get some sweet gherkins," said a smiling looter as she hurried out 
 of the store with a small child and a huge jar of pickles in her 
 arms. In the parking lot, the women carefully loaded the large 
 glass jars of mayonaise into the vans, packing them with Boy Scout 
 sleeping bags to prevent breakage. Then they climbed into their 
 vans and -- after securely fastening their shoulder harnesses and 
 lap belts -- drove away in a brisk yet orderly fashion. After the 
 women had gone, a store employee remarked, "They must have been 
 reading their Consumer Reports. They went straight for the top-of-
 the-line Goodyears with the new anti-skid feature."
   
   At the Forgotten Woman store in Torrance, several large white 
 women were trying on dresses, oblivious to the clanging store 
 alarm and the screaming sirens outside. "He seemed sort of guilty, 
 but what are you gonna do?" said one woman who was wearing a pair 
 of floral print jodpurs with the price tag still attached as she 
 watched an accomplice try on a an Egyptian cotton smock. "Oh 
 Betsy," she said, "that looks so cute on you."
   
   "Tootaloo," said one looter as she left the store. "Tootaloo to 
 you too, you little looter you" chimed the others as they loaded 
 their pickings into large plastic trash bags and prepared to depart.
   
   Los Angeles Police, who have been operating under a "community 
 policing" policy since Willie Williams was named chief following 
 the Rodney King riots, were under instructions not to intervene 
 unless lives were at risk lest they further inflame the angry 
 crowds. Los Angeles police sergeant Dave Hedcracker could only 
 lean against his patrol car and watch in amazement. "I've seen a 
 lot of riots," he said. "Watts, South Central, you name it, I was 
 there. But this is the first time I've ever actually seen looters 
 wait in line to take stuff out of a store."
   
   The city was covered by a cloud of smoke from fires buring in 
 many neighborhoods. However, the rioters seem to be avoiding 
 burning any buildings. Apparently all of the fires were bonfires 
 set on street corners with firewood trucked in by suburban 
 homeowners.
   
   "We  all wanted to show the city how angry we are at the 
 verdict, but we didn't want to actually burn any structures, 
 which would be irresponsible," said Ralph Mabry, an Encino 
 insurance adjuster who organized the bonfire campaign. Mr. Mabry 
 commented on the mayhem as he stood on a Westwood street corner 
 tapping buttons on a notebook computer containing details of his 
 bonfire-burning schedule. "We want to show everyone that rioting 
 can be fun, organized and constructive," he said. From Mr. Mabry's 
 street corner command post, five huge fires were visible. Next to 
 each fire stood a group of white people with fire extinguishers 
 and garden hoses should the blazes begin to get out of control. 
 "We are planning some fireworks later," Mr. Mabry said as he 
 punched some buttons on a portable phone, "but I'm not sure when 
 because the head of that committee hasn't gotten back to me yet."
   
   Nearby, a young woman in a khaki dress was overheard saying to 
 the man next to her, "Lawrence, this is such fun! How come you 
 never took me rioting before?" 
   
   "I didn't know civil unrest could be so enjoyable, Honey," 
 the man responded. "I always thought it involved a lot of heavy 
 lifting and getting really dirty."
   
   "Let's go down to TCBY and steal some more non-fat fudge 
 ripple," the woman said.
   
   "But there's a Ben & Jerry's right up the street, and you know 
 how I love their Strawberry Apple Crunch."
   
   "Law-rence, Marcia said there's a huge line of looters up at 
 B&J's and they are all out of lo-fat, so lets get down to TCBY 
 . . . Please???"
   
   "OK, Hon. Gee, you are quite the little looter aren't you?"
    
   "Alright, let's go. This is so cool. And remember -- I get to 
 break something before the night is over. You promised."
   
   Meanwhile, in Culver City, in an incident eerily reminiscent 
 of the vicious beating of white truck driver Reginald Denny during 
 the King riots, four white men pulled a black city bus driver out 
 of a bus and told the driver, "We're going to kick your ass." But 
 the driver, 41-year-old Eva Trawlings, maced her four attackers 
 and beat them badly, sending two to the hospital with lacerations 
 and fractures.
   
   "I don't blame them," Ms. Trawlings said later. "They just got 
 caught up in the moment. There's so much white collar crime out 
 in the suburbs nowadays, these boys don't know right from wrong. 
 I'll pray for them."
   
   Throughout the city, whites were expressing their fury. At the 
 Culver City Starbucks store, long a gathering place for the white 
 community, there was anger in the air. "I've had it," snapped one 
 man as he sipped a decaf latte. "And I've decided to take action. 
 From now on, I'm not separating green glass from clear glass 
 in my weekly recycling. I think that sends a pretty strong message 
 to the city."
   
   At the Torrance Builders Square, middle-aged white men could 
 be seen piling leaf blowers, rakes, fertilizer, plumbing supplies, 
 power tools and window treatments into their shiny sports utility 
 vehicles. "With this much Armour-All, I'll have shiny tires 
 forever," said one beaming man as he loaded a cardboard box into 
 his car. In another part of the parking lot, a sweaty man with an 
 "Irvine Anteaters" T-shirt was loading the last of about 40 bags 
 of peat moss into his truck. "This is fantastic," he said. "I've 
 been meaning to do some landscaping around the deck, but I could 
 never find the time to get down here and get all this darn peat 
 moss. Looting is so cool."
                                
                                {DREAM}
 
 Copyright 1995 Charles Siler, All Rights Reserved.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 Charles Siler is a humor writer living in London.  He can be 
 reached via e-mail at: 100067.2730@compuserve.com
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