
Editorial - Bleeding Butt Liberals
by Dave Bealer

One of the strangest suggestions received from a RAH Reader Survey
respondent to date is that RAH is "too American."  The respondent in
question, who lives in Europe (of all places!), suggests that RAH
become "more English."  As an Anglophile I have no basic objection to
this provided I'm not required to eat English food. 

One quaint Olde English custom that has received a lot of attention
lately is the caning of juvenile offenders.  Anyone who has lurked in
virtually any online conference or read any newspaper in the last few
weeks knows about Michael Fay, the owner of the most famous buttocks
in the world.

For those one or two RAH readers who were visiting relatives on Pluto
and haven't caught up on the news, Michael Fay is an 18 year old from
Dayton, Ohio.  Fay was caught vandalizing cars (with spray paint)
while residing with his family in Singapore, a former British colony.
Singapore has some very strict laws on the books, including execution
for drug dealers.  Singapore also canes young men for several types
of offense, including vandalism involving graffiti.  Fay's sentence
of four months in jail and six strokes of the cane has raised a major
international furor, the likes of which are usually reserved for bus
or plane loads of innocent hostages grabbed by terrorists. 

A lot of folks have been putting on a spectacular "ugly American"
display online.  The most amazing display of stupidity has been from
those misguided Americans who believe that the U.S. Bill of Rights is
a kind of force field that follows them everywhere they go on the
planet.  These yokels fail to recognize that there are actually other
sovereign countries on this planet, with their own laws and ways of
enforcing them.  After a few weeks of this, I began to understand why
Europeans might object to anything that is "too American."

Another appalling matter is the way the liberal media in the U.S. has
handled (one could almost say, manufactured) this whole situation.
Baltimore's major daily newspaper is an incredibly liberal rag.  They
took a survey of local citizens, then had to engage in lots of fancy
footwork when the survey didn't match their preconceptions.  The
survey results where in the 80-90% range in favor of using corporal
punishment *in America* on young offenders like Fay.  The liberal
"experts," whose opinions came last in the article, noted that these
results were just the public reaction to fear of crime in the
streets.  How horrible, that Americans would react negatively to
rampant crime in the streets!  What is wrong with us?  Surely the
rights of gangs of young thugs are more important than our safety?
NOT!
                            - - -
Submissions to RAH are picking up, which is good.  Among other
things, it means that I can be more selective about what I accept.
Recently I rejected a parody of Edgar Allen Poe's _A Tell Tale
Heart_.   Perhaps I should point out that I'm not a Poe fan, so
parodies based on his work have a tougher time getting accepted.

Another thing that needs to be mentioned is that parody is very
difficult to do well.  If you're going to do it, I recommend trying
free form parody, like my parody of ST:DS9 in the November 1993
issue.  Just playing with characters and general situations makes it
much easier.  Trying to parody a work, line by line, is really tough.
I've only tried it a couple of times, with mixed results.  Some of
you are no doubt better writers than I am, so don't be afraid to try
anything if you really want to.  Just be aware of the difficulties
involved with parody.                                           {RAH}

